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Before I began training martial arts I had a severe limp due to a rare joint disease and I was constantly in great pain. In fact my limp was normally the first thing that people would notice about me when they met me. As a result, outside of people that knew me from pool tournaments and pool league, new acquaintances knew me first as the guy with the limp and then, maybe, Chris. The pain could get severely debilitating. For example, one time at work I was prepping the kitchen. I was in pain but nothing too extreme when someone bumped into me. When they did, pain shot up my leg so severe it knocked me off my feet. I had to be helped out of the kitchen and was sat down for a while to regain the use of my leg. Also before I found kung fu I played a lot of pool! In fact my affinity towards pool drove me to work in the bars in which I frequented. Pool in its self was not bad activity, but all pool is played in drinking establishments, and because of that, I started drinking (when in Rome…). The purpose for my drinking was purely for entertainment, but it was nice that a few beers would quell the pain in my hip. I would often get off work, go directly to the bar and grab a pitcher and my pool cue. The bar environment eventually put me into a state of a total disorganization. In an effort to find and activity that would reduce the pain in my hip, and keep me away form the bars, I looked to martial arts. What I got was far more than I had expected. I found that I could use martial arts to improve many areas in my life. Now I have all but eliminated alcohol from my life and have removed myself from the bar environment almost entirely. I have also practically eliminated my limp. This has been a great and unexpected benefit from my training. Because of this I have less hip pains and back problems. Also, even after months of rarely limping, it is still weird to me not to have to explain my limp to every new person I meet. New people now view me differently than they ever did before. Unfortunately the world has a strong prejudice against the handicap, and it is nice not to be seen as that guy with the limp any more. Although martial arts has not eliminated my daily pain, my training has lessened it. I am now experiencing very few day in which I am completely debilitated by my condition. Another area of my life I found that my training could improve is my future. My family has a strong history of arthritis and sinus problems. Through living the lifestyle encouraged by LCMA, I hope to delay (and/or) eliminate these unfortunate genetic traits. Finally my training has benefited me in that I now live in an environment free of cigarette smoke and shady acquaintances. I now live a life where my friends have more of a positive influence on me and keep me away from negative activities. This means I have had to rebuild a lot of my social structure, but I now see this is essential to move forward with my life. Most importantly I will use my training as a tool to ensure that I will never fall off the path from which I have begun.

It doesn’t take much thought to tell you why I decided to join the Crane Chi-Kung and Loi-Kung classes. Being a care-giver for my husband, Monte—who has been paralyzed by two strokes—my 46 year old body takes a beating. I am employed full time to make ends meet. I got news from a recent physical that I may have cancer. My son, Jason, invited me to his Martial Arts class to take two trial breathing classes: Loi-Kung and Crane Chi Kung. In my mind, I was thinking, “Okay, anything for my child.” During my tryouts of the class, final medical results of my tests proved I was cancer free. Now I have to say that after taking a couple of classes, I felt energized. After a few more, my body felt renewed and my body pain was gone! What pain, you may ask? Shoulder and back pain from lifting and pulling my husband up in his hospital bed and wheelchair. Hip pain so bad I couldn’t get out of bed without falling to my knees first—neck pain from staring at a computer screen all day and evenings. Caring for my husband is a twenty-four hour a day labor of love. I have been feeling like an 89 year old person. Any task wore me out to exhaustion. Even taking my shower was a chore and my mind was always trying to work things out in what little sleep I got.

I made up my mind that if I could feel this good mentally, and feel better than I did when I was in my twenties, then the Loi-Kung and Crane Chi-Kung classes were for me! I sleep so well at night. Even though I get up every 2 ½ hours to provide care for my husband, I have no problems falling back to sleep. I have learned how to relax and not allow things to move me to the extreme. My attitude has improved to the positive in every area of my life. I care about me now and I don’t feel guilty about taking time out to improve my health for the better. In the Loi-Kung and Crane Chi-Kung class, I’ve learned the importance of breathing and stretching and strengthening. Also, I’ve really improved on my eating habits and learned to be dedicated in taking what I’ve learned in class and practicing at home.

I believe that the Lord answered my prayer of putting people in my children’s path that know him. In doing so, it led me to a place that has not only helped me, but has helped my husband. I can see improvements in my husband’s breathing. Oh, yes! I do my Loi-Kung with my husband. I haven’t learned the Crane Chi-Kung well enough to do at home yet. You see, my husband is on a nebulizer which allows him to inhale medication. He was a smoker since his teenage years and has had to use the machine four times a day. As of today, he uses it only once a day and this is the first year since 1999 that he did not get pneumonia! It’s not a bother to us that people think we must be kidding. We just know how we feel and are happier that we both are seeing differences in our physical bodies. My husband and I have a slogan…..if one hurts, so does the other. It’s nice that now we both feel good together instead!

I want to thank my son, Jason, for encouraging me to try the classes out and Master Lee for passing on such a wonderful thing to my husband and I.

I started taking Kung Fu at the end of last September (2001). I saw a flyer at the Lady of America Fitness Club for a Women’s Kung Fu class and I thought it would be interesting to try. The timing of this class coming into my life seemed like divine intervention. Like everyone else, I was feeling so tense after the tragedies of 9/11/01. This seemed so empowering and life-affirming. After only a few classes, there was some “hard to describe aspect” to it. It seemed important that I be there.

Well, it’s been a year now and what a ride it’s been. The most important thing I’ve gotten from taking Kung Fu is an inner resolve that I never thought I had. Ms. Von, my sifu, had us make a list of unhealthy things we do in our lives. At the top of my list was smoking. I have wanted to quit for years, but…just had a hard time taking that first step. Last May, I took the plunge and finally broke that nasty habit.

When you make a lifestyle change, I believe you need to use every tool at your disposal to be successful. Kung Fu was one of the strongest tools I had. The Kung Fu Lifestyle and smoking just had no place for each other. Kung Fu teaches you self mastery. When you smoke, you give your power away to the cigarettes. Your power literally goes up in smoke. One of the first Black Belt Codes I learned was that “a Black Belt Student knows that her words and actions represent who she is.” I no longer wanted to be represented by smoking. It is a weakness in character. It was an action that I didn’t want to represent who I am. I could either train in Kung Fu or I could smoke. The choice was easy, but the execution was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Smoking is insidious in how it gets into every aspect of your life. Wake up in the morning—get your coffee and smoke. Get in your car and drive somewhere—smoke. Feeling bored—smoke. Feeling lonely—smoke. Eat anything—smoke. Watch TV—smoke. Feeling stressed—smoke. Make love—smoke. It’s like a period after a sentence. It follows almost every action you can think of…….so I substituted: Wake up in the morning—get your coffee and stretch out. Get in your car and drive somewhere and repeat your Black Belt Codes. Feeling bored—lift weights. Feeling lonely—pick up the phone. Eat anything—go for a walk. Watch TV—knit or crochet’. Feeling stressed—breathe, meditate, and practice Sil lim tau. You get the picture. I also used the Nicotine chewing gum which really helped. Visualization also is a great tool! I had a lot of conversations with my Dad. He died in June of 2000. If I felt an urge to stop in at the 7-11 for a pack, I’d talk it over with Dad. He was very supportive. The breathing exercises of Chi Kung are wonderful to help you feel centered and grounded. Who wants to cloud up an energy field that you just filled with white light? I sure didn’t. See what I mean about using every tool at your disposal?

Make no mistakes about it, you at war with yourself. The best part of me wanted to win…..so did the evil little gremlin that lives in us all—the little voice that says “just one more won’t hurt you.”……that whines “it’s too hard.”….that wants to be bad and take the path of least resistance. You need to arm your “better” self with everything you can think of to win. Your “best” self needs to become a warrior. Kung Fu teaches you how to. Sometimes I’d visualize a cigarette coming up to me & I’d see myself turn sideways, point my fingers at it and say in a strong, clear, loud voice, “I don’t want any trouble!” You have to visualize yourself kicking the habit literally and snuffing out the cigarette. You are in a war for your soul, the essence of who you are. Kung Fu can help you become that warrior.

It’s been 6 months since my last smoke. Here are still times when the gremlin says “a smoke would sure be nice”………but my “best” self is louder & stronger. I have to think that a smoke would change nothing. Then I take a deep breath and go on. I always have my daily routine of Kung F and my class every Sunday. Von, my sifu, is so supportive. What a role model! I think she was more excited than I was when I told her I had quit smoking. Kung Fu can help you become empowered, self-confident, and disciplined. At 47 years old, I thought this is who I am. Kung Fu can help you become whoever you want to be. It can let your “best” self be heard & honored. It can put you on the road to success. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Oh, it is so worth it.

This is my second time attempting to quit smoking. The first time was two years ago. I was in LCMA and became a singer in a band. Those two reasons were enough to help me quit smoking cold turkey. The band broke up and there were other stressful things happening at that time. So, I had a cigarette. One turned into two, and two turned into three. Before long, I was smoking the same amount I was before I quit. I was smoking a pack and a half and up to two packs a day. Due to personal reasons, I quit Kung Fu for about a year. One of the reasons I came back to Kung Fu was that I wanted to quit smoking and Kung Fu would be less expensive to be in LCMA than to smoke. That was not the only reason I came back, but I thought it would give me the reason I needed to quit. It wasn’t that way. I stopped buying them but there were more than enough people to help feed my addiction. The way I was able to quit this time was in steps.

Week One: I stopped smoking in my house and in my vehicle.
Week Two: I stopped smoking in other people’s vehicles.
Week Three: I didn’t smoke one hour after I woke up, one hour after work, or one hour before I went to bed.
Week Four: I didn’t smoke at band practice. Being around chain smokers was hard for me.
Week Five: I totally stopped smoking.
One month and three weeks later I have not had one, a half, or even a drag of a cigarette!

I've been asked 'How have you managed to "live" the Kung-Fu lifestyle?"
What's been my motivation and key to consistency? especially in a family
environment with a low regard for fitness and that thrives on 'good food'
(e.g. You know: the kind of foods that taste good, but aren't necessarily
good for you).

In a lot of cases, some people are faced with a life-altering event or
crisis that becomes the turning point and motivation for them. For me,
part of my motivation has come from seeing some of my own family members in
just that type of predicament. Some with seriously life-threatening heath
issues (e.g. cancer, high blood pressure, ulcers, diabetes, etc.); many of
which were potentially preventable. I do believe that 'We are what we
eat': fatty foods produce soft, fatty bodies; healthy foods result in
strong, healthy bodies. So I'm partially motivated by my
family experiences and the desire to avoid having similar health issues
later on in my life. I believe, as Master Lee has told us, that we must
learn how to fight the battle at our tables and other parts of our lives to
fully learn how to live the Kung-Fu lifestyle. I also believe ? like
others ? that the body is a temple, and that taking care of your 'temple'
is one important way of honoring and showing your appreciation to God.

My other motivation centers around my own personal challenges and goals.
I've been told by close family members, "You're not going to make it,
leaving good food and red meat." (I've been made to feel like I am the
person with the problem ? ever been there? But I am "making it"). My life
at times is very stressful balancing work, family, in-laws & church with
little-to-no time for exercise. And there have been days where I'd have
rather hit the couch than the weights. But I make the time. Master Lee
has told us that we should strive not to be the 'best', but the best that
we, individually, can be. Despite your obstacles ? whatever they are,
you're greatest challenges are within yourself. I am committed to being
the best person that I can be ? which has sometimes meant, standing out or
alone. But, I have learned that birds fly in flocks; eagles can fly or
soar alone. And I see myself as a strong eagle.
It is true that your (mental) attitude, (or the positive mental
conditioning & discipline which has come through the Kung-Fu Lifestyle for
me), helps determine the altitude of your Kung-Fu skills and personal life
?whether your outlook, confidence, fitness, emotional state in times of
pressure or crisis, etc. For me now, I can regularly scale 4 flights of
stairs at work without losing my breath. I've also lost an inch off my
waist, and no longer have shoulder pain that used to plague me at the end
of every day. I am actually thinking more clearly about work/life issues
and have begun transferring the Kung-Fu lifestyle to
other parts of my everyday life, such as my prayer life and business
interests.
But the real key, to my progress, has been increasing my training
discipline through developing a regular routine, tying my training into
other day-to-day activities; setting both big (long-term) AND small goals;
and rewarding myself when I achieve them. For example I earn my long, hot
shower every morning ? and my crunches or other training are the regular
drill or sprint that I go through to earn it. So, the goal is to complete
my crunches today; I do them right next to the shower; sometimes I'll even
start running the water, and splash my face; and when finished, I know
I've earned it & enjoy it all the more. But you have to do what works for
you. Training is like a series of sprints that make up a life-long
marathon. I train, evaluate & celebrate every day -- focusing continually
on my mental state, physical form and personal improvement (in terms of time
to complete or number of crunches). And over time, for me ~6 weeks, it
became second nature. The key, I believe, is that you grow and move
forward by winning the race against yourself every day.

I never grew up with a positive role model. It was always, “Do what I say and not as I do”. I’ve always been around drugs because of my father. The first time I saw death was at five years old. I saw a man get shot in this mouth. As the years went on, I always did the opposite of what was good. My father couldn’t read and my mother was always too busy. The streets became home and I stayed in trouble. I graduated from high school when I was sixteen and thought I knew everything. I decided to join the United States Army. While in the service, life wasn’t any better. I headed into trouble again but got out before I could be prosecuted. As I was getting out of the service, the doctors found scarring on my lungs. That was when I started having health problems. I lived in Texas until it got too bad. The VA Medical Center would not see me in Texas, so I had to move back to Kansas City, MO. I stayed in the hospital for a month and was diagnosed with sarcoidosis. It’s been bad, worse and was said to be terminal at one point. I was placed on the lung transplant list. Because of my family, I had to change my attitude and actions.

When I walked into LCMA, it felt like home and it made me feel like I belonged. I’ve always believed in God, but thought He was punishing me for my past. I’ve always been a fighter (boxing, capoeira, street fighting). Watching the LCMA students gave me an impression that fighting does not have to be brutal. Training kung fu has calmed me down and gaining this power has made me humble. LCMA has also introduced me to Chi Kung. Chi Kung has enabled me to eliminate large amounts of pain medication and has strengthened my weak lungs. My fight is now controlled and not as wild. I’ve always been skinny other than a brief moment of weighting over 230 lbs. I am currently picking up healthy muscle and not fat. I would like to get to 220 lbs. of muscle with a 40-inch chest. I would like to become a great Sifu while maintaining Master Lee’s standards. I would like to also become more of an internal fighter. When a person is continuously sick to the point that they cannot move or breathe and are always in pain; they tend to want to blame everything and everyone but themselves, therefore they never move forward. Now that I have been introduced to the Black Belt Codes, I no longer feel sorry for myself and have something to relate to. Being a part of LCMA makes me laugh at the fact that my sickness is terminal. Terminal is now…terminated!

About 12 years ago when I was 26, I started having problems with rapid heartbeat. I was a heavy smoker at the time and was overweight. The attacks were completely random, and usually happened when I was working at my desk. When the attacks happened they would go away on their own after about 30 seconds. But they were quite alarming and caused me to be physically drained. I went to the doctor and after many difficult tests, I was told I had a benign growth on the wall of my heart. And that this growth was causing the wrong impulses to be sent, which brought on the Arrhythmia. My doctor told me that I would not need surgery, but would have to take medication for the rest of my life to control this condition. I accepted this and was actually relieved to know that it would not require surgery to correct.

I eventually adjusted to the medication and completely quit smoking, although my doctor at the time never recommended anything more than cutting down. Being diagnosed with this problem caused other problems to surface such as panic disorder. I developed unnatural fears that something bad was going to happen such as having a heart attack, passing out, and other such phobias. Sometimes the panic attacks could become quite severe and debilitating. In time I learned to manage the panic attacks with diversion therapy and other mind tricks that I learned. Eventually I was able to manage a somewhat normal life, and I got down to a healthy weight. But I was always accepting that this was what I would have to do, take medication everyday, pay higher insurance premiums, and be embarrassed when I would have to talk about it.

But I started training kung fu about 3 years ago and since then things have changed dramatically. I started to develop a confidence in mind and body that I never had before. Through the training and conditioning of kung fu I gradually learned to trust that my heart was is in good shape. And although anything can happen to anyone (even the most conditioned athletes) at anytime, I was certainly in far better condition now at 38 than I was back when I was 26. Through the use of the black belt codes and principles we learn in kung fu, I have worked to train my mind to become calmer and to attack those areas in my life that need improvement. I have improved my eating habits by removing the beef and pork from my diet, which can contribute to heart disease and high Cholesterol. I have used the principles to remove stress from home and work life. And probably most important, was the confidence I gained from Kung Fu training allowed me to talk with my new Doctor about getting off the heart medication. After reviewing my medical history and charts he agreed to try taking me off the medication and see what happens. I have now been off the heart medication for several months and the rapid heartbeat condition has not returned. It is really a wonderful feeling, and I thank God that I am now free from having to rely on medication.

I know I owe this good fortune to the Lord and my kung fu training. And my teacher consistently reminding me that more important than fighting, is to attack those things in your life that need improvement. As he says “What good is it to be a great martial arts fighter, if you cannot fight and overcome those things that are attacking you from the inside.”

              A black belt means change to me. I have had many bad habits that I have nurtured and developed as a child. These habits had progressed into fears, insecurities, poor understandings, limitations, and a lot of times yielded bad situations. When we are young we do what we know and then when we know better we do better. Being a black belt and seeking the path of a black belt means that you seek to know better so you can do better. The black belt codes have helped me to overcome many adversities by making the right decision at the right time. I have a friend that told me that I had an answer for every situation. She has never seen me go to extremes of emotion even in the face of great personal distress. My friend though that this level of control over what I say, do, think, and respond to situations could not possibly be healthy. I related to her of times when my emotions changed like the wind. I wore my every thought and emotion on my face and in my body language. When adversity would enter my life it would all but destroy me. I could be kind to someone one moment and then cruel in just the next breath. This time was less than 5 years ago. And, it was not until I learned a better way of living, through kung fu, that I finally did better.
            A black belt means fighting to me. Not the type of fight you do with your fists or your feet. It is the type of fight you do with yourself. It is a battle against complacency. We allow ourselves to die slowly by not doing those things that are going to gain us strength in our lives. You have to learn to fight to be organized in your life and your thoughts. You have to fight to not rest or settle for less than you can achieve. You have to fight to get up in the morning and eat and exercise and drink water, instead of hitting the snooze button for 45 minutes each morning. You have to fight each day to do those things that are truly meaningful to you: caring and raising your children to be good, productive adults; showing those you care about that you honor and respect them by giving them your time; caring about yourself and your loved ones enough to take care of yourself so you will have more time with them; living your life as an example to others.
           A black belt means being a role model. What is odd is just how easy this one can initially seem. How hard can it be to just live righteously and be someone that your children and friends can look up to? When thinking of the enormity of the responsibility that being a role model can be, you can feel quite small in comparison to the task at hand. While taking the black belt journey I have learned to look at this task on the smaller scale. I look at the weaknesses in myself, and I eliminate them systematically. Where there is chaos I seek balance, where there is discord I seek harmony, where there is indecision I seek understanding. To be a good role model you have to know yourself and be accepting. Sometimes when we look at ourselves we overlook the dark areas. The truth is sometimes dark and cruel. But, when we face those dark areas and bring them to the light we begin to see how much stronger we are. Role models cannot hide. And as a role model the truths inside you must not hide either. People learn from your adversities. Speak of how you overcame the dark truths within yourself and be not ashamed of where you came from. For as a black belt you can empower people to do good within themselves by sharing whom you are, who you were and who you hope to be, especially for those who hope to follow your path. A black belt seeks balance and this balance gives him strength.

In 1999, on New Year's Eve, I met a man named Mike. We were at a party celebrating the new millennium. I knew that day that the new year would not only start a new century, but a new beginning. Hopefully it would start with this new interest of mine--Mike. I was really excited! If only I knew what a new beginning would constitute and exactly how hard it would be...I probably would have wept for the challenges ahead of me. I had no idea just how much my life would change, but always in good ways.

My relationship with Mike would move very quickly. We met, fell in love and moved in together, thus the cycle had started and the challenges began. Shortly after we moved in together, February, I found out Mike's New Year's resolution was to quit chewing tobacco. Wow! Thank goodness, but that began a new process in me. What about my bad habits? He's quitting chewing tobacco and drinking. Is there something I need to improve? These are the things that went through my head, but I figured if all I did was smoke, I wasn't doing too bad, right? Eventually Mike would start smoking to counter his nicotine cravings. One bit of chew was like smoking 10 cigarettes. Since Mike started smoking I thought I was good for awhile as we both had bad habits we'll work on later.

As we moved through our relationship, things from my past started haunting me...mistakes I had made, family issues, etc. I realized that I was angry about the life I had and I became very emotional and somewhat depressed. Since I was so upset all of the time, it caused me to take an even closer look at myself? What was wrong with me? What did I do to end up here, why do I feel so lost and alone? I have a very supportive boyfriend who is willing to stay up late and listen to me. He takes very good care of me. I didn't understand. I had so much anger and so many questions. I just wanted to feel better. I just didn't know how.

In the midst of one of our talks, I noticed that Mike had put on al little weight. How on Earth did I miss that? Then I took a better look at myself and I realized that I had gained weight also. My legs were bigger, my clothes were tighter, etc. That really bothered me. I began to think of ways to solve these problems. I hate gyms, so I started to think of all the things that I wanted to do in life. Finally I piped up with, "What do you think of trying martial arts?" He was a little surprised, but said he would check into it. I also thought of dancing or an aerobics class, but it was not such a good idea. Plus, I liked the empowerment of martial arts. This was early April or late March. I thought nothing more of it.

In early June, I was sitting at home and Mike called me and asked what we had planned for the evening. I said nothing except dinner. Then he started telling me about this school for Kung Fu he found on the internet. Now it was my turn to be shocked. I was really surprised he had actually done what he said. He always did. I just hadn't seen this much before him. I had also forgotten the conversation. He said that the first two classes were free and if I didn't like it we had lost nothing. I really had no idea what Kung Fu looked like because it wasn't /isn't a popular style. I was a little disappointed, but I decided I could argue my points later. At least it would look like I tried. The only thing that intrigued me was Mike explained a lot of movies used the style. Other than that, I didn't care.

When we arrived at LCMA, I was surprised at how simple the school looked. The mixture of people in the class also surprised me. There were all sizes, shapes and races. We were promptly greeted, introduced to Master Lee McField and given our introduction class, which we were later tested over. We got a perfect score! I was so proud. I started thinking, I could do this, and I have a natural ability for it. We came to our second class and signed up immediately for two classes a week. When we signed up, we were asked why we chose Chinese Kung Fu. I started thinking about how I had always wanted to feel the power that women show when they do martial art. I wanted to lose weight because I didn't look like a princess, and I also wanted to feel like I could take care of myself if a challenge came upon me. When Von showed me her "before" and "after" pictures and said she used to have cellulite but now didn't: I was sold. I was so thrilled with my newest beginning. I was already feeling 100% better. Mike's and my problems seemed to work themselves out. I had been inventing problems because I felt powerless in all my changes. Life had been and would continue to be an emotional roller coaster. I found solace in my training. It was and is my power over life. I was for once at ease and truly happy, which was truly strange. The newness is what was keeping me going. I had no idea just how much my life would truly change.

In July, I had a new challenge and blessing. I got a job working evenings. It was good because money had been so tight that we were shuffling bills to pay for Kung Fu, but it was bad because I didn't know where I was going to fit time in for training. I ended up getting Saturdays off, which allowed me to train. The down side was that I had to condense two days of training into one. I usually didn't get to sleep until 4 A.M. This made training difficult because I had to be up at 8:30 A.M. to get to class on time, it was exhausting. I did pull through. Eventually my schedule changed to days and we moved our training to the week again. I believe we started taking three classes. I had such a drive to be successful at something I pushed myself through. Challenges over come.

During my new job, I decided I needed to quit smoking. I was about White Belt level and I was tired of losing my breath every time I would spar with someone or do anything extremely active. It was late July early August, so it was about one month into my new Kung Fu lifestyle. It was the hardest thing in my life. I was a new 21-year-old; I had been smoking since I was 14. Most of my family smoked and it was my #1 coping system. What would I do without it? I would be crazy. i have already changed my diet, isn't that enough? I kept trying to come up with excuses. I did feel better because now Mike and I were eating right...Yes, those non-existent bad habits were coming to surface. I knew I would feel better if I quit smoking and hey, it was either nicotine or caffeine. It was time to change something else. I chose nicotine.

The withdrawals were horrible. I tried to cut back, but it didn't work. Then I tried to quit, that didn't work either. Finally, I got so angry that something smaller than a twig had control over my lifestyle that I decided nothing was going to hold me back. I just needed to see results and know I was accomplishing something. I was lucky because I had a huge support group that started with Mike. I had heard that for every year that you have a bad habit, you need two weeks to quit. I had smoked for 7 years, so it was going to take me 14 weeks to be psychologically in control of a habit that had controlled me for so long. I could do that, right? Ninety-eight days without smoking...I could go that long...maybe. I was afraid of what would happen, with justifiable reason.

To help visualize 98 days, I had Mike make ma a chart similar to the ones elementary students use in kindergarten for attendance and good days. On one side of the chart there was week number 1,2, etc. On the other side there were day numbers, day 7, day14, etc. At the top it said, "Shandalla's No Smoking Chart." It had 100 days of no smoking on it. For everyday I didn't smoke I got a sticker. For every week I didn't smoke, I got a reward that built the more weeks I didn't smoke...1 week without for a shopping spree of $25.00, 2 weeks...$60.00, etc I also didn't have to do dishes for the rest of the year. We didn't have a dishwasher. If I smoked I had to do the dishes for 2 days for every cigarette I smoked. It was the best thing I could have done. To see progress helps create progress. It was such a good idea, but to look at a chart with 100 little squares on it was quite overwhelming. What if I couldn't do it?

At the end of my first week I had 7 stickers, Yeah ME! I also realized just how supportive my Kung Fu group was. Mike, Master Lee, and Von always touched base at the end of the week to see how I was doing. When Von found out that I had not smoked for one full week, she made it a point to announce it to the whole class, (all 4 or 5 of us back then). Master Lee gave one of his good speeches about taking challenges on and constantly improving your self and stopped the classs to have everyone give me a round of applause. Four or five students may not sound like a lot to some, but when you have four or five students get excited because you haven't smoked for 1 week, it suddenly becomes a big deal. You start off with thoughts like, "It was only one week," and "I still have 13 to go," but then you realize it's been about six years since you haven't smoked for a week. It was big; I had taken my first giant step toward improving my life. To see progress, helps create progress. Now I had 2 types of visuals. The journey had only begun.

It's now been 1 year, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was well into my White Belt by the time I finished my chart and still willing to push forward. It was only the beginning, yet such a big step. Once that was completed, I could take on the the world. That will forever be one of my biggest turning points in my life.

Since that point in my life, I have been empowered to conquer and change anything in this world I want. I have learned to cope with things even better than I could imagine. I use our Black Belt Codes for the wisdom they provide--not only about Kung Fu, but also in my daily life. I have had problems keeping a job. Sometimes because employers don't like how much time I want for training, other times because I was willing to make the sacrifice because I wasn't happy and wouldn't have grown as a person. I have had many other challenges this year, but I have been successful.

I have moved 2 going on three times this year. I have found out who really takes me seriously. I have been told several times that I needed to quit Kung Fu because it was too stressful or because it wasn't helping or the money would be better. I stood tall and my eyes have been opened. I quit biting my nails after 21 years. I am 22 now and my current battle is caffeine. I have a very fulfilling relationship, I am enrolled in college and an instructor who attends and teaches Kung Fu altogether about 5 days a week. I am an empowered woman who plans to empower other women. My anger towards past relationships and my negativity towards my family has all been smelted and released. You may think, what does a 22 year old have for experience to base these off of. I would tell you, "Never underestimate a person's past challenges for you may find you have less to be angry about than you think." I will tell you as a 22-year-old, remember all this stared at 20. I have seen more than my fair share. I will only tell you this--not for pity, but for motivation......

My father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother divorced him when I was 3 and raised 4 of us on her own. We were very poor because my father didn't pay enough child support for 3 children: one was from a previous marriage. She was uneducated and still very young in the ways of life. My family and I were in 2 homeless shelters for battered and abused children. I attended 14 different schools, each one better than the last as my mother started to get her career together, but it wasn't even until I was 15 that she graduated from college. I was the first to graduate from High School in 5 generations of my family. I have seen my share. I don't regret any of it because it was those paths that made me who I am now and those paths that lead me to be the enthusiastic, self-sufficient person I am today. I am now empowered and plan to go much further. I owe my strengths now to Kung Fu and everything my teachers, students, and fellow classmates have taught me. I have beaten all the odds and I am now truly blessed.

It seems to me unlike the most of the world my black belt journey and my life journey does not begin with hardship. I grew up in the suburbs with two loving parents who are both after approximately 30 years of marriage are still on their first one. My dad held a good job that he has been at the whole time and my mom is also employed and collage educated. In school I was a middle class young man who was popular and good in sports. I was a Boy Scout and even though I never reached Eagle Scout I was in for over 17 years and continue the tradition to this day as a leader. I never experienced hardship really. Life has always been good to me.

My challenges started the summer after I turned 17. I was down at Boy Scout camp with all of the younger scouts for a weekend. We were having fun enjoying the woods and repelling. I was ready to repel down a cliff that I had already done 10 or 20 times that day. I eased myself out talking and enjoying the time I was having. I was about ready to make my first leap when a rock that I had been standing on broke off and fell. I lost my balance and fell with it. 65 feet straight down, take the time to think about it for a minute. 65 feet is equivalent to a five and a half story building. That’s a long ways down when there is nothing to catch you. People who repel call 20 feet the kill zone because once you are past that your chances of dieing from a fall go up dramatically I tripled the distance. This moment in time will be etched into my memory forever. Most people say that your life passes before your eyes or that it happens so fast you don’t have time to think. Let me tell you that you have time to think and realize what is happening. To me it took hours to hit and was the scariest moment in my life.

The impact ripped and tore most of the major muscles from my body. My joints to my legs and hips were put under a great amount of trauma. The whole ordeal left me paralyzed and unable to move any part of my body except my left arm and head. I won’t go into the months that I spent in bed. Lets just say I have a new understanding of the little things in life.

A seventeen-year-old body is a wondrous machine with the amazing power to heal itself and bounce back. After only three months I was on my feet again. Now I wasn’t running any races but I could hobble to the bathroom by myself again. I still couldn’t wear shoes though because the weight of a sandal or tennis shoe would cause my muscles to cramp up and I would fall over. Eventually my body healed completely and to everyone’s amazement I was up and playing sports again. At the time I thought I had very little side affect to this little accident and pushed it to the back of my mind.

Fast-forward a couple of years to about the time I turned twenty-one. I discovered the wide world of alcohol. The bar and club scene is a magical, amazing kingdom with colorful people and wonderful sites. I was well on my way to becoming the ruler of this magical kingdom and its people. I could walk into any of the clubs in our area and most of the people there would know my name, from the bouncers who guarded the entrance and checked ids to the purveyors of the fine drinks that I drank, I knew everyone. I would stay late at the clubs and go to breakfast with the owners. Then at about four or five in the morning I would finally turn into a pumpkin and stumble home. More often then not very intoxicated. Only to wake up at seven to go to work and start a new day, this day would be much the same as the last.

Living on about two or threes hours of sleep a day makes life a little more surreal. I was the world’s first voluntary insomniac. I could go for days literally with out any sleep what so ever. I was one of the night people and it showed in everything I did. I floated through life like a small leaf on the wind. No one cared or even bothered telling me what I was doing was wrong and hurtful to myself. Why would they though? I held a good job, and I was one of the privileged people that could actually have this kind of experience. Most people cannot do this. If the alcohol does not get them the sleep deprivation will. O and how the alcohol flowed. It was like water out of a tap. I could drink it like almost no other. I knew how to order and how to drink. I could put away hundreds of dollars of drinks a night. It was fun and my friends and I ruled the night.

Things started to change about three years ago. The mornings were getting harder and harder to face. I felt and looked real bad. The years of parties and drinking were catching up to me. I didn’t stop however I just kept right on going. Thinking I could still drink and play all night. The alternative was not faceable. Finally I decided one New Years Eve to make a resolution to stop drinking and playing all night. I could do it no problem, how hard can it be to quit drinking? So I stopped. The next weekend I started again thinking that I didn’t really want to quit and I would later.

Another year went by and this time I was going to do it. What I didn’t know then was this new lady I met on New Years Eve would help me and most likely save me from myself. Her name was Shandalla. I quit drinking and started to spend more time with her. I alienated my friends at the time, which helped me stop the parties. I was focused at the time. I was trying to make a budding relationship grow into something special for the first time in a long time. I started venturing out in the daylight again.

Moving from one of the nightwalkers to the daylight brought a whole new realm of problems to my mind. How do you interact with the world sober? I used to be able to have what I thought was very intellectual conversations, now I couldn’t summon enough thought to barely make it through the day. It was a hard road to travel. I am glad I did though. It brought a wonderful woman into my life that decided to stay and help me through the bad times I was having. We both noticed that I was getting a little “chunky” around the waist. She had suggested martial arts for some exercise and a way to spend some more quality time together. I was all for it. I had always loved the old Kung Fu movies and thought it would be great to know how to do. I looked and shopped around until I finally found Lee’s Chinese Martial Arts.

Shandalla and I decided to drop by and check this school out. I was amazed at the friendliness of everyone in the school. The joy we felt in being there, made us go ahead and sign up. I was expecting the usual double speak about contracts for my next three children’s lifetimes but much to my surprise that was not the case. It seems that this school is not in the business of multiple contracts over extended periods of time. They are in the business of people. They choose to devote the time to the people that train there and let the students pay for the training on a per month basis. This really appealed to me financially and emotionally. Our training had begun and I opened a new era in my life.

Training Kung Fu I thought was going to be an easy task at first. I came into it with all of the preconceived notions of your average American male. These were crushed the first time I had the privilege to enjoy standing in our horse stance for 162 moves of our form done at an agonizingly slow pace. This changed my whole outlook on Kung Fu quickly and forced me to slow down and look at myself and why I was training. Was I training for the self-empowerment that comes from a martial art? Was I training for the exercise that comes from the physical activity? Or was it something else entirely? The answers to these questions I am still looking for and these change from day to day.

My training although more intensive then our other students is the same road they walk. I realize that the journey that I am on is not a quick race; it is not even a straight and narrow path to where I belong but a wandering meandering path that I incorporate into my life. My favorite author once wrote, “Not all who wander are lost.” I think this is apropos for me. For my journey that I am taking to fix the small things in my life, to make it better is one of discovery and to discover something you cannot have the tunnel vision that comes from a predefined path but must wander and find out what lies along that path. Life is meant to be experienced that is why they call it living.

Some days the stress from life can be overbearing. This is where my hardship on my Kung Fu journey comes from. I am in a high stress job where deadlines can interfere with my training. I also found out that my accident coupled with my drinking and partying had profound effect on my body that are still cropping up after almost two years of intensive training. I am lucky that Kung Fu found me before I went back to my old ways. I find peace and solace in my teaching of the other students that takes away the stress of the day. I find it is not so painful to do things that used to be hard for me as my body recovers from the damage that I had caused it. This is the first year since my tumble off of a cliff face that I have not woke up in the morning in pain. It used to be when the weather changed drastically my body would be in horrible pain and keep me bed ridden for a few days. Now with the lifestyle that I have adopted from kung fu I no longer have this problem. My stomach that used to be forty inches of beer gut is now a slim thirty-three inches and starting to show signs that there is a different kind of six-pack in it now

I will wrap up my little story with a poem but remember this is my Kung Fu journey, it is not one filled with much hardship but more of a final peace of the mind, body and spirit of a person.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can.
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet,
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate.
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

Several years ago I lost my fiancée, my son and most of my money in the same year. Instead of dealing with what was obviously the problem, I chose to be petty and let outside forces, such as my circumstances, lead to fear and anger. Furthermore, I let myself stray from the Lord.

I decided that I needed something in my life that I could do for myself to boost my self-esteem and remove the sense of failure and despair that seemed constant.

This is where kung fu has come in. Through my training, I am finding the person I was before I let the sense of loss and failure overwhelm me. I’ve found an added benefit. By my son seeing me train and exercising discipline, I notice he has more confidence in himself. Without knowing it, I was using a black belt code and using my discipline to rebuild my personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus, whom I love more than life or anything in it. And last, Master Lee is always talking about role models. Well I didn’t think at 34 I would need a role model, but I train under one of the best I’ve ever met. This is what my training is doing for me and I am thankful to the Lord.

A black belt means hard work, persistence, and achievement of goals. A black belt is a symbol of rank and honor. On my way to blue belt I have learned that persistence is the key to achieving in this long, never-ending path. I can’t say it enough to the lower ranks…”You just have to stick with it and over time you’ll never believe what you can accomplish.” The journey toward black belt means changes in all parts of my life…from the way I eat, care for my body, approach goals I’m trying to accomplish, communicating with others, and my all around way of thinking. A black belt means being spiritually grounded, being a part of what is right, and distancing myself from what I know is wrong. A black belt means doing what is right, even if that means standing alone. A black belt means taking care of my body and always working on building a positive image of myself. I know I am still very, very far from the lifestyle I want to achieve, but I am also very far from the lifestyle I’ve tried to shed through my journey, and know now there will never be any looking back. I can only continue to try to live life in a positive manner and continue to try to achieve the goals I want to accomplish. I know that a black belt is only the beginning of moving toward a lifestyle that will take the rest of my days to achieve. I hope one day to be able to be a black belt and help others achieve what has been such a positive aspect of my life, and hope to be able to help them achieve the benefits from this wonderful way of life. Most of all to me what a black belt means can be defined in two words, my dream!

Good evening Sir! I am writing to say thank you. As I have gotten older (30 this month), I did not believe I could ever have another role model at this point in my life outside the business world. I was wrong! You are certainly a role model to me and everyone you interact with. I watch the instructors and fellow students interact with one another and with me. I am completely impressed with each and every person at LCMA. They have definitely grasped the Kung Fu Lifestyle. I have always been tightly wound, temperamental and every other adjective that is associated with someone who needs balance in their life. My coworkers, friends and family alike, comment on how I have changed over the last few months. I have become more balanced in my emotions, daily routines, eating habits, and exercise. I owe it all to you and LCMA. I have a long ways to go but I look forward to the journey with confidence. ! Thank you for your inspiration before, during, and after each class.

Our God Almighty is a progress-oriented God. As a child of His, exhorted through His word to extol what He extols and despise what He despises, I have come to long and to strive for progress in all aspects of my life and the lives of others. The very idea of regression, even stagnation is repulsive to me. Among virtues conducive to progress are discipline, perseverance, and organization. Adversaries of progress include apathy and disorganization. In my ten months of training kung fu, I’ve realized that it is virtually impossible to improve my skill level without an organized training regiment and total dedication to the art. I have a great desire to improve; therefore, I’ve learned to become more organized and dedicated. Foremost, among the areas in my life in which I hunger to progress is my spirituality. I certainly believe that I can use the discipline and organizational skills I’ve become accustomed to while training kung fu, to motivate me to greater discipline and organization in my spiritual life. One thing I’ve found is that the positive attributes in each aspect of my life tend to infiltrate other portions of my life, and thus, I’m grateful for the opportunity to train kung fu and will use it as a catalyst to swifter progress in all areas of my being.

I grew up watching a popular TV series called Kung Fu. The main character, a shaolin priest, walked the land in tough times, helping people and protecting the weak wherever he went. I later found out that the concept behind this series was originally thought up by a childhood hero of mine, Bruce Lee. I mention this because the fictional characters portrayed both in Kung Fu and Bruce Lee’s movies are what first inspired me to train in martial arts. They also helped me to form my opinion of what kind of person a true Black Belt is.

I believe a true Black Belt is a loyal friend who is always willing to help someone in need. This person is good to have around when the going gets touch as well as an able and resourceful person who will rise to any challenge.

I believe a true Black Belt is a person with great inner strength and peace of mind who would give pause and second thoughts to those intending to harm him, his family or his friends. A Black Belt is not easily trifled with.

I believe a true Black Belt need not be a religious person but definitely a spiritual person. There is a difference. A Black Belt should be in tune with God and Mother Earth. Humbled, respectful and inspired by the miracles of life that is the artwork of our maker.

These are the qualities I think a Black Belt represents. I am truly fortunate to have found a teacher and a style of Kung Fu that I believe is among the world’s best, to help me pursue these goals. I am also blessed by the quality of the family and friends that I have to accompany me on this journey.

In just nine months, Kung Fu has already given me a priceless beginning to a whole new lifestyle and a better self.

Kung Fu has improved me physically. I am eating better, exercising more, learning more about my body’s limitations as well as potential. I have learned how to defend myself and have become aware of my own physical strength and speed.

Kung Fu has improved me mentally and spiritually. I have learned through our black belt codes to make peace with those lingering feelings of anger, pain, resentment and sadness left behind from my life’s past experiences. I am learning balance, control and confidence in everything I say, do or feel. I have learned that I have the ability to become a very happy and peaceful person without depending on another person to get me there.

If Kung Fu can bring all of this to me in just nine months; I am not only excited, but assured, that with the help of Kung Fu and the incredible people here at LCMA, I will become the good person and positive roll model that I have prayed to God to help me become.

I have used martial arts to improve myself in mind, body, and spirit. Martial Arts has kept my mind quick and sharp. Learning to defend a strike simultaneously, at times, requires a great deal of concentration. The reflexes needed require intuition and fast thinking. The body is a temple not a gymnasium. While abstaining from drugs, alcohol and tobacco has not been difficult; removing all fast food from my diet has been a tremendous battle that I fight daily. I have been encouraged to drink a gallon of water a day. Sometimes I do well, other times not so much. By doing these things I am much healthier; which in turn means that I sleep better and I can train more efficiently. An improved mind a body naturally leads to an improved spirit. I believe that having a healthy mind and body pleases God, and pleasing God is all I care to do. Maintaining a healthy and Godly spirit is my greatest and only true goal. For me Martial arts are a part of the path towards that goal. The Scriptures has this to say, “Know ye not that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom ye have of God, and you are not your own? For you are bought with a price; therefore glorify God with your body and in your spirit which are God’s” I Corinthians 6:19,20.

Chris Portwood August 16, 2003

Chris Portwood
August 16, 2003